Nine Words Women Use
Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 9:21 pm
Winter...I hate winter! Several times a day, I walk out into my garage staring at my five bikes looking cold, lonely and neglected. Some of them need maintenance. I have two shop heaters. Yet, I have no desire to fire them up to get at it. It sure would be great to fire up a cigar. Yet, I know better. With closed garage doors, I’m sure I will have to contemplate one of the nine words women use.
After 25 years of blissful marriage, I’ve learned very little about women. When I was engaged to Tammy, my father gave me some very useful advice. “Son, never argue with a woman. Two women can get in an argument and then hate each other for life. Two men will argue, punch each other in the nose, and five minutes later buy the other guy a beer. You can’t out mad a woman. If you argue with your wife, always apologize first, whether you’re right or wrong. She may not be strong enough to hurt you. But she can make you wish you were dead.” Crap I thought…what am I getting myself into. Over the years, I’ve taken these words to heart. Since that day, I doubled down on those words with a simple “Yes dear, let’s go shopping to buy you more shoes.”
Compiled is a list of nine universal words women use along with explanations, provided to me by loving wife. She explained to me that women use these words to warn a guy to not make dumb decisions. I don't understood why women use these words. Why not just tell the guy what you want him to do? I’ve often wondered if this was the reason men for centuries went off to war. Nonetheless, its become apparent to me that womens use of these words are ingrained from birth for no other reason than to screw with men. So, here’s the list of words.
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they think they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. That will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
I’m sure there’s more words women use. While I will never claim that I understand women, I do know by simply understanding the words women use, marital bliss is possible…sometimes. If all else fails, reference #3.
After 25 years of blissful marriage, I’ve learned very little about women. When I was engaged to Tammy, my father gave me some very useful advice. “Son, never argue with a woman. Two women can get in an argument and then hate each other for life. Two men will argue, punch each other in the nose, and five minutes later buy the other guy a beer. You can’t out mad a woman. If you argue with your wife, always apologize first, whether you’re right or wrong. She may not be strong enough to hurt you. But she can make you wish you were dead.” Crap I thought…what am I getting myself into. Over the years, I’ve taken these words to heart. Since that day, I doubled down on those words with a simple “Yes dear, let’s go shopping to buy you more shoes.”
Compiled is a list of nine universal words women use along with explanations, provided to me by loving wife. She explained to me that women use these words to warn a guy to not make dumb decisions. I don't understood why women use these words. Why not just tell the guy what you want him to do? I’ve often wondered if this was the reason men for centuries went off to war. Nonetheless, its become apparent to me that womens use of these words are ingrained from birth for no other reason than to screw with men. So, here’s the list of words.
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they think they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. That will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
I’m sure there’s more words women use. While I will never claim that I understand women, I do know by simply understanding the words women use, marital bliss is possible…sometimes. If all else fails, reference #3.